I just got back from a much needed vacation where I completely unplugged from everything. I started at Honeyroot to immerse myself in the hive of queen bees, surrendering, letting go, and receiving. I then picked up my man in Reno and went to camp at Lake Tahoe with some friends. We ended in Paso Robles to play cards listening to wind chimes in the backyard, sleep in, go to Morro Bay, and relax at Brent’s mom’s home.
As Kali turned 4 months, I realized I had not given myself a break. So with no distractions, I got to unwind. And in the unwinding process, lots of pent up emotion released (and is continuing to release).
I have been feeling this collective scarcity around me. “I don’t have the money” has probably been the number one thing I’ve heard in the past month.
And so I did what I always do: look within. The outer world is a reflection of our inner landscape and so the collective was mirroring an aspect of my own scarcity.
I have made huge leaps and bounds with my relationship to money. I have come to trust that all of my needs will be met; that the universe takes care of me. I don’t have a “money scarcity” conversation going on, so for me to get the lesson, I had to dig a little deeper.
1) It’s not about the money.
It never was. It never is. Money is simply an energy and currency is one form of exchanging that energy. If I could see beyond the veil that money provides, an illusion that keeps us stuck in one way of being, I could go deeper to the truth.
2) Where am I stuck?
That’s the better question. What were the messengers telling me – the people around me – that could provide clues of where to look?
It dawned on me that the people around me were wanting to co-create and be part of the team. The support structure for Sistership Circle. Brent came on board as the CTO. We hired a new bookkeeper and realized we needed her to do more, so it was more of a CFO role to manage payroll, accounts receivable, etc.
And that’s where I was experiencing scarcity. I was confronted by the old pattern of being in this push-pull with sharing my vision and my organization with others. My baby. This dance of masculine structure and feminine co-creation. It felt sticky. I felt contracted. I noticed triggers coming up and I was super agitated. Trusting others. Owning my power.
I came to this distinction of control vs. command. For me to move out of scarcity and into receiving contribution and support for the growth and expansion of this organization, I needed to command my role as CEO and what I truly needed, wanted and expected from those who wanted to contribute.
Deep sigh of relief.
Control felt unhealthy. Manipulative. Contracted. Coming from fear and scarcity. My vision. My org. My structure. MY.
Command feels healthy. Powerful. Giving myself and others permission to shine.
When I’m in my power, I’m operating from my core. I’m not in scarcity. I’m able to flow. I’m also able to let go and trust.
A queen commands. She also is in deep surrender. She holds both.
Now I can move forward with clarity. So much opened up. I’m excited to have this insight to now step into the next level of leadership and expansion. And I’ll be talking about it on tomorrow’s Feminine Leadership Activation Call.
You can access the call at 9am PST tomorrow (Thursday) and find past recordings here.
I’m revealing a new archetype, going deeper into the money and scarcity story and walking you through a process to command your own power.